Or lack thereof.
Whew, I really need a break. Not because I've been working so hard (even though the past three weeks have been pretty busy at work), I'm just spent.
This semester of school started back in August, and I ended up having to drop or withdrawl from both classes. I've been 'out-of-pocket' four times since then, not to mention the every other day schedule of other duties. Earlier this week I'd decided enough was enough and gave up the ghost on schooling for this semester.
The past couple of weeks have also been one emotional roller coaster after another. The new-found volunteer work left me sick and weeping the first night, but after that, eager to see the tasks ahead completed. I hope to enjoy the fruits of this labor soon, but it won't be soon enough, no matter how quickly that time arrives. Work has been suprisingly easy despite the crap that normally happens...God has given me an extra measure of grace, I suppose. (Thanks for your prayers!! :})
Devotionals and quiet times are sucking right now, big time. I bought a Bible study guide...uh...last week I think. The second lesson mentioned "the eons necessary for the Creation to take effect" and I slammed it shut in disgust. Haven't had the inclination to search for another one.
Church attendance sucks, too. There are still a few issues I'm dealing with that threaten to wreck my faith, and this is one of them. Sitting through a sermon has hardly ever interested me when I'm perfectly capable of buying (and using) the same commentaries the pastor uses. I've struggled with that ever since being a Christian, now that I think about it. There's just a little bit of pride there, I'm sure, and frustration, too. The thing I miss is the "church" of fellowship. A friend invited me over to her house a couple of weeks ago and it was a great time - practically the first time in months that I'd been able to do something like that.
That's pretty much it for now. I've been up since 0330 and I'm pooped. Out.
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5 comments:
Wow, brother sounds like your having a tough time right now. The church I was going to before I moved to oklahoma the pastor was caught in adultry about a month before I left. I praise God for the church I have now, and pray that everyone finds a church that fits them as well as this one does me. I have never had any luck with those devotional books myself. They just don't build me up at all.
The Valley of Vision
Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory. Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision. Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells, and the deeper the wells the brighter Thy stars shine; let me find Thy light in my darkness, Thy life in my death, Thy joy in my sorrow, Thy grace in my sin, Thy riches in my poverty, Thy glory in my valley.
Taken from The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions, edited by Arthur Bennett
-This is a book of prayers well worth having. A large sample can be found at: http://www.oldlandmarks.com/
puritan.htm
The full book has 200+
I read these because I suck at prayer and hate to do it (not as a substitute, but as an example and help).
-Another favorite for devotion is R.M. M'Cheyne bible reading program (http://hippocampusextensions.com/
mcheyneplan.html). Plain bible reading everyday...though their is a strange sense of inspiration behind it.
-GO TO CHURCH! You're not there to hear something new (that's why it is called church, not seminary). Church is for worship and fellowship (worship includes the preaching of the word...Sproul would say this is the primary component of our worship at church...I tend to agree since the reading of the word is the most prominent OT example of worship).
steve
Thanks for the kind words guys.
Sounds to me like you're busy, but I think it's neat that you haven't forgotten your purpose. If there's ANYTHING you need, please let Kris or myself know. We think about you a lot!
$1,000,000?
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