Wednesday, June 03, 2009


My arms hurt.

No really, they HURT.

A friend and I did the Erin WOD Monday and I still can't lift my arms very far above my head. I was going to run this morning (hoping the increased blood flow would help), but when I let the dogs out it sounded like it was raining outside. I realized when I let them in that it wasn't actually raining (I heard the drainage dripping off of trees and such), but it was still too late to run. Grrr.

School is finally over. I passed and am taking a break from it until the fall/winter semester, and I still haven't decided about that one. Work gets in the way a lot. I know it's sad that I only think about work getting in the way, but what else is there to think? For six years now I've been believing and practicing the "mission first" motto as much as I can, and in reward for that, I got punched in the gut. So...I'm learning. As much as I can, as quickly as I can, and I'm hoping it will be enough when the time comes.

Oh, and my ARMS HURT!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Making the Day

After the deep and thoughtful post prior to this, I re accomplished the personality quiz that appears right before it. I'm noticing a common theme here....

New Life (sort of)


It has been forever since I have posted anything. I must admit, I've cheated a little on Blogger - first with Myspace, then with Facebook, and then with Thoughts. I've come around again to blogger and find myself returning to the "home" on the internet.

I've been thinking about the past. A few years ago I dwelled on the past fairly much so that I insulated myself from the future. It's not that way now, I'm just reflecting. There is way to much stuff in the "now" to let me stay in the "then" for very long.

The first thing I can think about is that I STILL can't believe that I am married. Every day I wake up wondering why the beautiful woman next me is willing to put up with my stubborness and hypocrisy. I surely wouldn't. Yet, there she is...loving, patient and wonderful. She amazes me every single day.

I wonder about other people, too. Friendships that I've had and lost. Friends that I have drifted away from. For the longest time I just wanted to be alone and avoid the complications and pain of dealing with people. I was hurt (and caused hurt) pretty consistently for a long time. I made choices, some right, some wrong, that seperated me from others. Some choices (and seperations) were made in obedience to the will of God, some were made in frustration. Either way, it drove me to the only two safe havens I have (and am content in) - my Savior and my wife. For the chance to draw close to and depend on both, I am forever grateful.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Contentment in circumstances

G'day, once again!

Well...I must admit...St. Paul was right.

I used to complain about work a lot. I used to hate it and was completely unwilling to see anything good about it.

Well, I still hate a lot of it, but the rest is changing. ;)

After I came back I was moved out of an office that I've worked in off an on most of my career. It can be a prestigious place to work depending on what the tasks are. Now I'm assigned to a different office and have the menial task of making sure the new guys are properly taught (or so someone said to me recently).

I thought about what this person said and realized that yes, I could probably be upset if I wanted to be. After all, I do have the experience to do a lot of good work if I was assigned to the other office. But you know what? I prefer what I do now.

As glamorous as one job is, the importance of the other can't be disregarded. I have all the responsibilities that I enjoy - maturing and mentoring new airmen - and very, very few responsibilities that I loathe. I'd rather sit with airmen that are as green as their flight suits and teach them things that will help keep our country safe than jockey for position in a race meant for others. A race that to me is worse than pointless.

So, off to work I go. The Lord Christ is good to me...much better than I deserve. He's helped me deal with the crap that is in constant circulation at work and even shown me how things are much better than I wanted to see. He's even given me the woman of my dreams. :) Wow. What a blessing to know Him.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Craaack....those are my misconceptions breaking.


One of those habits being that I hardly ever blog any more. Sorry. Life is very full these days and I don't often have the time/desire/energy to blog.

After a three year bout with the basics of Reformed Theology, I finally lost. Haha. Holly's going to be intrigued. I'm not a total goner yet, but am getting closer by the day.

There are a few reasons why the shift has occured. I'm not sure I can explain them all, but I'll try!

First, I've come to terms with the fact that there are things about the nature of God (mostly the way he orders the world) that I will never, ever understand. I don't like typing it, even. But it's true. So by accepting that, I feel free to look honestly at these issues, and to hopefully keep my prejudices at bay long enough to see truth.

Second, I was attending an informal Bible study a couple of months ago that caused a major shift in thinking. The passage was Ephesians 1, the verses covering predestination and such. Something the teacher said clicked in my mind - it was a verse (can't remember the address at the moment) in which God was saying that all things exist for his glory. All things exist to bring glory to him. This includes people going to heaven (showing mercy and grace through the Cross), and people going to hell (showing justice and wrath).

Third, it's the most logical thing I've run across. If people are dead in their sins, then how can someone possibly seek God? Dead is dead. It has to be Him reviving one's soul.

Fourth, fore-chose and fore-knowledge. Every original language reader that I trust tells me it's fore-chose, as in, God chose people before they were born. And then they explain the difference in detail. Every Arminianistic (if thats is even a word) teacher I run across tells me it's fore-knowledge. Right after that they usually tell me that people can seek God of "their own free will." Um, no. See above. "No one seeks God, no, not one...."

I've not hammered out what else I believe yet, but this is still occupying most of my study time anyway. Yes, there are apparent holes in it...but show me where there aren't any in other sets of theology. Here, I can see that my ignorance is a major cause of the "holes." There, I'm smart enough to see obvious discrepancies that seem to be glossed over every time they are preached. Like, can someone who is dead in their sins seek Christ? Or does God have to do something first, even if it is just revealing Himself in some small way? Since the Scriptures issue an emphatic "No" to the first question and "Yes" to the next. I tend to follow that lead. I didn't always. I do now. Thank you to all the people that have kept on me to examine what I believe and challenged me on the why.


Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Near the Impossible

Well now, it sure has been a while since I've blogged. I'm not sure the people that used to read this even check it anymore. Can't say a I blame them...if it wasn't for a nudge from Holly I doubt I'd have written anyway. Thanks lady! You have no idea how that gentle reminder avalanched into something so big.

These days my entire life is being turned upside down. Truthfully, I wouldn't have it any other way, either!

In a couple of months I'll be getting married to the most beautiful woman that has ever graced the surface of this earth. There is so much I need to learn to treat this princess like she deserves. I thought I had a handle on the whole chivarly thing, and the love thing, and respect thing, but God has shown me that I have so much to learn! I swear, that woman loves me so much and so well that I don't know how to begin to respond a lot of times. She's amazing.

Life at work is improving. My duties are the same, but I have a very definite time frame for it ending. That helps. So does the notion that I'm working where the Lord wants me to work, regardless of whether or not I necessarily enjoy it all the time.

Reformed Theology (aka TULIP and all that) is no longer the beast I once thought it was. As time progresses and I read and listen to more about it, the more sense it makes. I'm not trying to brainwash myself into believing it...but answers questions that I haven't been able to answer in a long, long time.

Got to go for now...God bless!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Update, again

Sorry about the no posting. I've been away for the computer (or at least the net) for a while, and when I am online, I usually don't feel like writing.

This week I have to somehow finish moving out of the apartement. I found out I can pay a cleaning fee - which I'm going to do - and just pack my stuff and leave. The cleaning fee is less than the rent I would have paid, so I'm still saving money (and then spending it on uniforms). Moving all of my crap is going to be an exercise in sleep deprivation!

Work is stupid. Then again, work is always stupid. That may just be my attitude, though. Therefore, I am stupid. At work. Yeah, that sounds about right.

I LOVE SONYA!!! YEAH!!!! She's such an awesome girl! She fed me twice this past week and I loved it...she's a great cook! I enjoy sitting and talking with her...playing with her (there's only one person I know that I can make fun of for being short)...and especially praying with her. She's incredibly Godly, hard-working, disciplined and loving.

That's pretty much it for me. I'm out.

Friday, March 16, 2007



Okay, the screaming is over now.

I need to:
Get orders
Turn in checklist (once I find out if I reenlist or extend)
Move stuff
Move in with a friend
Get tickets
Get uniforms updated


I did get a small glimmer of hope today. I had to call the schoolhouse to see if it was okay if I reported early (the instructors say to do it if you can).
I called, the Airman on the other end of the line answered, I asked my question, and waited. I think he forgot to put me on hold because I could hear him asking for Sgt ****.
I thought, NO!! Sgt **** is the lead instructor! I'm going to get reamed for skipping my newest chain of command! Dang it!
Sgt **** got on the line. I explained why I called and he said something to the effect of, "Sure, I always try to get people down here early. Good luck (once you get here)." Awesome! It's good to see that the people who will shortly be abusing me are doing it because they value a high level of training, and seem to want students to succeed. Of course, that means my future pain will be even worse because of it...but...oh well! It happens! I can't wait to get there!