BORED OUT OF MY MIND!!!!

Good grief, I am so bored right now. I don't have a decent book to read, and even if I did I probably wouldn't be able to because I'm unable to sit still. Haven't worked out since...mmmm...Monday? Yeah, Monday, because I'm sick and just want to recover for a while. I've lost my appetite...funny thing...when I stop working out, I stop having an appetite...could eat maybe one meal a day and be fine. When I'm working out I can't get enough food, I'm always hungry. There's my rambles.

This is just silly

Wow, I must be really stinkin' hot. :) Haha...whatever!

This weekend I had a BUS full of cheerleaders try to get my attention and give me a phone number while driving down the highway. No kidding. Then there was the girl in Starbucks that kept sneaking glances at me, to the ire of her three male friends. I thought her guy friends were going to leap over the table and take me out. She wasn't very subtle about it. Today there was a chicka sitting in front of me that kept glancing over her book to check me out. She was trying to be subtle but I caught her at least twice. What is the deal??? Not that I'm complaining about getting attention from females, but why this all of a sudden?

Haha. Don't exactly know what to do, but it doesn't matter anyway. Any girl worth her weight is probably not going to be ooogling anyway; so, I'm just waiting for the right one. For God to open my eyes, I guess...or maybe hers, whoever she is.

*sigh*

Yesterday was a circus!

First, I woke up at 0530 to go running with a friend on base. I was so tired I nearly slept through the alarm, but managed to wake up and go.

When I got there, my friend didn't show. It wasn't her fault though, so that's no biggie. I decided to run a couple miles by myself anyway, since I was already there. About half-way through I had to use the bathroom so bad I had to stop running. Oh the pain!!! I felt stupid, but hey, it's better than pooping in my shorts.

So, since the big gym was crowded, I decided to go to a little gym across base to take my shower. It was on the way to work anyhow, so why not? It's more comfortable and I wouldn't have to deal with all the old guys sitting around in the nude trying to start conversations with me.

So I get there, and sure enough there are only about four vehicles in the parking lot. "Yes!" I think to myself. "Some privacy!" Wrong. About the time I started taking a shower, I think every male in the building decided to take one, too. Only this time it was worse because there are only four shower heads, rather than the 8-10 at the big gym.

So I'm done with the shower. All the Navy dudes are chatting as I'm searching through my stuff for the personals to finish getting ready. Guess what I forgot to bring? DEODORANT! I thought, eh, that's really no big deal, I can get some at the shoppette on the way to work. After I shave and stuff I went back to get dressed.

Guess what else I forgot to bring!?!?! Yep!!! UNDERWEAR!!! HA! So I sure did pull off a Rambo style for the rest of the day. Nobody was the wiser, I think. It did feel kinda funny though.

Then I go to the shoppette to buy some deodorant, and guess what?? They only have women's deodorant. By this point I'm just kinda rolling with it, you know? I'm already splendidly happy about not wearing any underwear and showering with a bunch of strange men, so women's deodorant is really not that big a deal. I bought it. Funny thing is, I got so busy at work I didn't even use it. If any of you ladies out there need some deodorant I can hook you up!

That was yesterday. What an adventure.

No, I am one

G'day mates....

Last weekend I was running late to go see a movie with a friend and her church group. As I started to turn from my little street on to the highway service road, I saw a lady waving frantically in my direction.

Well of course I had to stop. The look on her face suggested that she had either just run into a lot of trouble or was about to, and I wasn't just going to drive off and leave her there. When she got in, she asked for a ride to the south side of town. I told her to tell me where it was and right after the info came a long stream of "Praise God! Thank you sweetie, thank you young man!! I'm sure glad I didn't have to walk all this way!!"

As we were going down the road, she asked if dated. I told her I was single, but the phrase "Why do YOU want to know?" ran through my thoughts. I didn't really want to explain the whole "I'm waiting on God/wife/courting thing" to a strange woman that's asking about my love life.

She looked at me and said, "No, honey, do you date?" I thought "Hmm...that's a strange question." She repaired my poor confused head with the next question, quietly whispered: "No, what I mean is, do you use prostitutes?"

Good Lord...I'm giving a ride to a prostitute. Well, whatever, Jesus loved them too, and better than I do. Of course I answered no, but thought about it after I dropped her off at her house.

No, I don't use prostitutes, but I certainly am one.

I am a whore and do confess
I put You on like a wedding dress

These lyrics (by Shane and Shane I think) ring so true to my life. I am so quick to put on Christ long enough to get what I want and am even quicker to betray Him whenever it suits me. Good grief. Lord, help me to repent of my foolishness. Thank you so much for loving me...thank you for calling me home and keeping me there.

Walls of Pain

Lord, it hurts...really bad.

I've walled myself in this time. I thought some struggles from the past were healed over until I was careless and opened some doors that probably should have stayed closed. Now I have no idea how extricate myself. All the eloquent words and options in the world aren't going to help at all.

Father, I can't keep track of the number of miracles you've given me over the years. I feel a little out of place asking for another one. I feel like I'm stepping on your grace. In a way, I guess that's what I'm doing, but if you don't help, I am surely lost. Father...please...I need help.

Today

WoD:
Deadlift
3-2-2-2-1-1-1-1-1

135-185-225-245-245-225-forget the rest
Plus various cals in the playground.
There's a new convert, he started working out today and loved it.

I finally replaced my old worn out Enter the Worship Circle (2&3) cd's today. I've listened to the CD's hundreds of times and still love them. That's it for me.

Kids everywhere!

G'day!

WoD:
Three rounds for time:
1000m row
20 pullups
30 box jumps, 20 inch box

Time: Appx 30 mins

Today was my first class in an actual civilian college. I was not that impressed. Nothing bad about the teacher this time, he seemed to expect that half the class wasn't going to show up. I keep forgetting that most of the students are just learning to be away from parents and authority figures for the first time. It's a culture shock.

Cleanup

Today's WoD:

50 box jumps
50 jumping pullups
50 kb swings
50 steps, walking lunge
50 knee-elbows
50 push-press
50 back extensions
50 wall-ball
45 burpees
(Twisted my knee on rep 45 of the burpees so I stopped there.)

I've been doing some cleaning. I'm getting rid of all the evidence of some specific sins that seem to always be pestering me. I'm not doing it to hide anything, I'm doing it to help get rid of the influence. To help avoid temptation in the future.

I've been asking the Lord for some cleaning, too. I read the cover of The Ragamuffin Gospel last night after a friend recommended it to me. Just reading the cover helped me remember some very important things...mainly, that grace is Grace. There's nothing I've done or will do that earned God's love, and nothing that will make me unredeemable. I've already been redeemed. Just saying it gives me joy. :)

Sometimes, when a struggle against sin continues for years with little more victory than standing fast and a lot more failures, it's very easy to forget about Grace. I think that's why God gave us sleep. For a time we can forget and in the morning all things can be new. As hard as it is to let go, it has to be done; thank goodness Jesus has already shown us how.

ARGH!!!

It's been a crappy day. I got some truck repairs done and it turned out it was TWICE the price I budgeted for. I went to get the brakes repaired, and guess what? Not only was it the brakes, it was a rotor, the steering assembly, two leaking shocks, and just to have some icing on this poop cake, the windshield wipers and air filter. Crapola.

I'm feeling far from God right now. It's been a bad week as far as devotionals go, and completely my fault. Sins are catching up and making me feel even further away. Sheesh.

Uh, okay

Lord, please let some of this stress stop so I can stay sane....

What's that? No? Okay....

Lord, please heal the ache and return the sanity....

What's that? Patience? Okay....

Uh, can I get a good parking spot at IHOP? Just so I can get some breakfast?

Really?!?!? Thanks!! :)

Joseph

Today's WoD:

Five rounds for time:
Row, 500m
30 thrusters

(I have no idea how long it took, just that I'm tired.)

Second WoD:
Pull-ups, set of 10, weighted

45lbs, 70lbs, 75lbs, 45 the rest (did two from set 7-10)

Work is hell. I'm tired of being blamed for crap I don't do or haven't been trained to do. About the only thing that is keeping me sane is the story of Joseph. I remember how he was sold into slavery, betrayed by the jailer's wife and put into prison. The reward for his faithful service and hard work was more and more imprisonment, until finally he was locked away and forgotten by everyone.
When he was here, he apparently didn't curse God (technically the Bible doesn't say, but it does give indicators to suggest otherwise ;). Not only had the Lord put him in a prison to rot, he rescued him from it, too; and later on it is revealed just why it happened that way.
I don't care if I have mastery over Egypt, Africa, Europe, America or even my bowels. Right now I just want to get out of the prison.

Lord,

Thank you so much that you consider me worthy to suffer. Thank you for refining me in the fire and making me pure and clean. Thank you for your grace and mercy when I sin in this fire.
Lord, I don't know why you made fire hot, but it is. I'll stay here as long as you want me to, but anytime you think I've been here long enough I'm not going to disagree. As always, I pray your will be done, Father, not mine. In Jesus' name, Amen.


Signing off.

Just Another Day

Yesterday's WoD:

(100+ degrees, with the blisters to prove it!)
Five rounds for time:
10 kb snatch, both arms
5 Pullups
10 Pushups

Today's WoD:
Five rounds for time:
400m Row
10 knees-elbows
15 back raises

I'm slowly adapting to flying and working out. For so long I've just rested on fly days because the physiological stress is already a factor, but I had to do something today to get rid of paperwork stress. Yes, paperwork stress. No escorting convoys, dodging bullets or IED's for me...for me it's deadlines, signature blocks and meetings. An endless string of everlasting, life wasting meetings. It makes me mad enough to cuss, and I nearly do, quite frequently.

I've been reading 1 John the past two or three weeks, trying to really get into it. It's refreshing to spend so long on a book, especially a short one that has a lot of stuff in it, like 1 John does. I've read it through several times and now I'm doing a verse-by-verse study, not really doing a set number of verses a day or anything, just whatever seems fitting. Very nice.

BEHOLD...

...what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore, the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.
(1Jo 3:1)

Simply amazing. Behold!

Random Thoughts

I just finished reading a book titled A Canticle for Leibowitz. It's about a monastic order that tries to preserve as much knowledge as possible after a nuclear war near the end of the 20th century. Snapshots of civilization are given every few hundred years. It's thought provoking.

I've been pissed on and off the whole week. Between stupid people that always seem to get in my way to the fact that I can not seem to get alone with my thoughts (though I've rejected nearly all human contact for the past two days).

I also haven't done much working out, either. Work has been long, and by Friday I was ready to quit all movement not required to maintain life. That hasn't changed much over the past couple of days (at least as far as work is concerned).

Poop. Oh, the chicken strips were good. :)

Wow, I am really craving some IHOP chicken strips. It's becoming harder and harder to refuse. I wish I could replace my french fries for another one of those delicious, delectible little bundles of joy.