Monday, July 10, 2006

Mental Anguish

There are so many things to worry about!

Today I recieved a notice that says I'm eligible to apply for crosstraining. Whew...first step complete! Now all I have to do is one more PAST, some physicals, and submit the paperwork.

I've got demons hounding me about it though. What if I can't swim well enough? (Even though it's only 200 yards?) What if I don't pass the depth vision test? It's the dumbest test ever, administered true military fashion. I've failed it as many times as I've passed it. I've been keeping up with people that are asking about depth vision waivers...the answer they got was "It's pretty important to be able to tell which aircraft is in front." Yep, that it is, and I'd have no problem with it since I do it every day on the flightline. I just don't see how looking at a two-dimensional object (the testing device) is going to test my ability to see depths in three dimensions. It's like saying pushups, situps and running are the only things necessary to test your fitness. Are they now? Really?
I'm putting way to much worry into this. I should just "let go and let God." Just hard to do that is all.
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2 comments:

Dr. Dolly (@drdolly) said...

I failed the PT test in ROTC my first try. I failed the 1.5mile run because the person counting my laps lost track and I ran an extra lap...which put me just over the time limit. My CC told me if I didn't pass the test the next time, I wouldn't be eligible for field training, and I'd no longer be in ROTC. I never wanted anything so bad, and I worried like crazy. So, I trained, some upper classmen worked with me, and my ROTC mentors asked me what was the worst thing that could happen if I didn't pass the PT test. It wasn't the end of the world, it just would have been a seriously closed door, but I would still be going in the direction God intended. For some reason, that put me at total ease and peace of mind. Afterward, I ended up passing with a very cush margin. By my senior year in ROTC, I was the 3rd or 4th top scoring female cadet on the PT test in our detachment. It's never a cakewalk for anyone to go into certain aspects of the military, that's why they have so many selective processes. It's also great for us to grow in faith and trust in God as we realize it's never our strength and capability, but it's utterly and completely His will.

July 11, 2006 4:29 AM
Dan said...

Thanks. :)

July 20, 2006 9:03 AM

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