SMACK!!! Right in the face!

(I'll warn you ahead of time, this is a long post....)

Num 22:20: And God came to Balaam at night and said to him, "If the men have come to call you, rise, go with them; but only do what I tell you."

Commentary from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible (Pertinent parts are in bold):
Num 22:15-21 -
We have here a second embassy sent to Balaam, to fetch him over to curse Israel. It were well for us if we were as earnest and constant in prosecuting a good work, notwithstanding disappointments, as Balak was in pursuing this ill design. The enemies of the church are restless and unwearied in their attempts against it; but he that sits in heaven laughs at them. Observe,
I. The temptation Balak laid before Balaam. He contrived to make this assault more vigorous than the former. It is very probable that he sent double money in the hands of his messengers; but, besides that, now he tempted him with honours, laid a bait not only for his covetousness, but for his pride and ambition. How earnestly should we beg of God daily to mortify in us these two limbs of the old man! Those that know how to look with a holy contempt upon worldly wealth and preferment will find it not so hard a matter as most men do to keep a good conscience. See how artfully Balak managed the temptation. 1. The messengers he sent were more, and more honourable, Num_22:15. He sent to this conjurer with as great respect and deference to his quality as if he had been a sovereign prince, apprehending perhaps that Balaam had thought himself slighted in the fewness and meanness of the former messengers. 2. The request was very urgent. This powerful prince becomes a suitor to him: "Let nothing, I pray thee, hinder thee (Num_22:16), no, not God, nor conscience, nor any fear either of sin or shame." 3. The proffers were high: "I will promote thee to very great honour among the princes of Moab;" nay, he gives him a blank, and he shall write his own terms: I will do whatsoever thou sayest, that is, "I will give thee whatever thou desirest, and observe whatever thou orderest; thy word shall be a law to me," Num_22:17. Thus sinners stick at no pains, spare no cost, and care not how low they stoop, for the gratifying either of their luxury or of their malice; shall we then be stiff and strait-handed in our compliance with the laws of virtue? God forbid.
II. Balaam's seeming resistance of, but real yielding to, this temptation. We may here discern in Balaam a struggle between his convictions and his corruptions. 1. His convictions charged him to adhere to the command of God, and he spoke their language, Num_22:18. Nor could any man have said better: "If Balak would give me his house full of silver and gold, and that is more than he can give or I can ask, I cannot go beyond the word of the Lord my God." See how honourably he speaks of God; he is Jehovah, my God. Note, Many call God theirs that are not his, not truly because not only his; they swear by the Lord, and by Malcham. See how respectfully he speaks of the word of God, as one resolved to stick to it, and in nothing to vary from it, and how slightly of the wealth of this world, as if gold and silver were nothing to him in comparison with the favour of God; and yet, at the same time, the searcher of hearts knew that he loved the wages of unrighteousness. Note, It is an easy thing for bad men to speak very good words, and with their mouth to make a show of piety. There is no judging of men by their words. God knows the heart. 2. His corruptions at the same time strongly inclined him to go contrary to the command. He seemed to refuse the temptation, Num_22:18. But even then he expressed no abhorrence of it, as Christ did when he had the kingdoms of the world offered him (Get thee hence Satan), and as Peter did when Simon Magus offered him money: Thy money perish with thee. But it appears (Num_22:19) that he had a strong inclination to accept the proffer; for he would further attend, to know what God would say to him, hoping that he might alter his mind and give him leave to go. This was a vile reflection upon God Almighty, as if he could change his mind, and now at last suffer those to be cursed whom he had pronounced blessed, and as if he would be brought to allow what he had already declared to be evil. Surely he thought God altogether such a one as himself. He had already been told what the will of God was, in which he ought to have acquiesced, and not to have desired a re-hearing of that cause which was already so plainly determined. Note, It is a very great affront to God, and a certain evidence of the dominion of corruption in the heart, to beg leave to sin.
III. The permission God gave him to go, Num_22:20. God came to him, probably by an anger, and told him he might, if he pleased, go with Balak's messengers. So he gave him up to his own heart's lust. "Since thou hast such a mind to go, even go, yet know that the journey thou undertakest shall not be for thy honour; for, though thou hast leave to go, thou shalt not, as thou hopest, have leave to curse, for the word which I shall say unto thee, that thou shalt do." Note, God has wicked men in a chain; hitherto they shall come by his permission, but no further that he does permit them. Thus he makes the wrath of man to praise him, yet, at the same time, restrains the remainder of it. It was in anger that God said to Balaam, "Go with them," and we have reason to think that Balaam himself so understood it, for we do not find him pleading this allowance when God reproved him for going. Note, As God sometimes denies the prayers of his people in love, so sometimes he grants the desires of the wicked in wrath.
IV. His setting out in the journey, Num_22:21. God gave him leave to go if the men called him, but he was so fond of the journey that we do not find he staid for their calling him, but he himself rose up in the morning, got every thing ready with all speed, and went with the princes of Moab, who were proud enough that they had carried their point. The apostle describes Balaam's sin here to be that he ran greedily into an error for reward, Jud_1:11. The love of money is the root of all evil.

A while back I was praying over tithes since I don't belong to a local congregation. I prayed and I felt the Lord leading me to something that I'm unfamiliar with...spend it to purchase something. A laptop computer.
I've been directed to give tithes differently before (like to people who are in serious need), but that was only occasionally. The biblical support for that came in the idea that in the OT tithes were offered to the Lord in the Temple and the priests were allowed to keep certain portions of the tithes as an income (for survival more than riches, I think). In the NT, I hear that all believers are considered a holy priesthood, and so when the idea of giving to a person in need (specifically a Christian) came to mind, I prayed, God blessed it, and I did it. I think the idea came from God anyway.
This was the first time I'd been directed to use a tithe for something I would be using. I'd known that I'd wanted a computer for a long time, but hadn't thought about it in forever, since I couldn't justify the expense by any needs.
When I felt the Holy Spirit directing me this way, I immediately went into "this is the enemy" mode, even though I felt the prescence of God affirming it whenever I earnestly seeked him about tithes. (Say what you want about feelings...there is still a distinct difference in what people feel and what the presence of holiness feels like.)
So eventually I started praying about the computer. My biggest concern from the begining, and to now, is that I would fall into the habit of spending the tithe on what I wanted, whenever I wanted, and claiming it was God. Making sure that my heart stayed open to giving tithes and offerings above the tithe (which I'm not very good at) was the most important thing to me. I fasted over this, and then purchased a computer.
I can't even begin to describe the blessings that have come from this one piece of equipment. The weekend after buying the computer I sent an email to a gorgeous blond/brunette (depending on the sun). I've been able to start classes, work on projects the Lord has layed on my heart for a long time, keep in touch with friends and all kinds of things. I've tried hard to use the computer in a way that honors Him. The doubts continue though. Every now and then I'll think about it and fear my selfishness. Last night I read the verse from Numbers and the commentary and immediatley thought of this, and freaked out.
As I was sitting down after dry-heaving, wondering if I should continue or quit, I finally broke and started praying some more about this, almost in tears. I confessed my selfishness and admitted that I could have been wrong.
God met me there in the gym and re-affirmed the decision. Almost immediately (though I know it was probably just timing, still it was incredible timing) 'God of Hope' began playing on my mp3 player and I started worshiping and then continued the workout.
Even after, I went to the sauna and spent nearly a half-hour in constant prayer...what a night. I'd have spent more but I was reaching the critical stages of dehydration...bad news. So I went home.

Set this hope in me,
Set this hope in me
That I may be pure and holy
That I may be like You only
That I may be completely free
Though You slay me I will hope
Hope inspires my endurance
Your hope is my anchor
God of hope fill me