Loved, to the End

Joh 13:1 Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.

This verse and the verses following it has been written upon my heart the past couple of days.

Have I loved Christ to the end? Well of course the answer is no, since the end of my time on earth has not arrived yet. So that much is obvious.

What about inside circumstances? Today's journal from Oswald Chambers talked about listening to God "in the shadow of his hand," (Isaiah 49:2), so that I may learn to hear him. I must confess...I am the worst and most stubborn sinner known to man, and there are times I resolutely REFUSE to listen to God's word. My rebellion is scarlet and stains the cross with it's betrayal. Inside those circumstances, I have not loved Him. I have not been His friend. (Lord...even now, please forgive me!)

I'm typing and thinking it over at the same time. Until my physical death comes, loving "until the end" is doubtful at best...there will probably not be a challenge in my life that is utterly and completely removed to the extent that it will never affect me again. Circumstances change...what hurt me (sifted me rather) may have no effect the next time; so it becomes the same challenge with a twist. Or I have failed at some point in the past and God has brought me to it again for the sake of passing that particular test. Either way it is not the end.

Perhaps there is a change of heart that needs to happen. Loving Him AT the end doesn't necessarily mean I love him TO the end, but I certainly would like to offer the record of my thoughts and deeds as worship then as well as now, to hear "Well done, good and faithfull servant...."

You know, I usually skip over the parables from Jesus and the warnings from Paul about the second coming of Christ. I'm not really sure why, to be honest. It's possible that by the time I get there I feel as though I've read to much really pay attention, or (more likely) I believe they just don't apply to me. How stupid is that! Who am I to say or even think something along those lines?!?

They are starting to make sense now...I should live and love as if it WERE the end and I could see the King of Glory rising to come take me home, for as much as I know, it is "the end."

Just some thoughts.